*This is what GASLIGHTING looks like…

Journal excerpt –  4/11/2011   -waiting for my daughter at the  social workers office 

I know I am not perfect. I could be crazy. He told me that.

The anxiety level is beyond belief.

Where is he though?

He has never been here, in this office.

The social worker  takes “attendance’ – because she is a social worker.

Fuck everyone that says I shouldn’t try. Or never do.

He says I am “screwed up”.

He screamed at me in the other night in front of my oldest son

“She needs medication!”

“She is crazy!”

“Do you see what she is doing to our family?”

-because I am learning about abuse in my beautiful family, and trying to save everyone, and be connected to what they are working on,  and talking about it, and wishing he was standing with me.

I am not crazy

I am not crazy

I do not need medication no matter how many times he tells me that.

I am learning things I think he doesn’t want me to learn, and when I learn them and say them he somehow turns them around to make me try and think I am crazy and unreasonable and makes sure everyone else listening also thinks that.

I am not crazy.

*GASLIGHTING